Not quite sure what to write. I'm a very blunt person so I might as well just say it…It was a terrible, rough, exhausting, sad week. It's hard to be a missionary. I swear that some people just fake it all the time…like pretend that they just love their mission and don't ever feel tired and blah, blah, blah. Well that is ridiculous. That is not real life and those people need to knock it off. Don't think that I hate my mission or anything even close though. It's challenging but ever so rewarding. And no, I'm not talking JUST about baptisms. Honestly…who cares how many baptisms you get. What matters is if you are fulfilling your purpose to "invite others to come unto Christ," whether that be through baptism, reactivation, and even just planting seeds. All is considered successful in the Lord’s eye.
I’ve been sick for weeks and weeks. First the flu, then strep throat, now a sinus infection. The last weeks or so has just been a fog…trying to do “the job” while living with a fever, attempts to identify possible food allergies, eating antibiotics. Getting better now though. Maybe just a new series of obstacles to handle.
Had to stay indoors for a few days to try to recover somewhat. Some other missionaries came down to hang with us. Sis Bowman can go out finding or teaching or whatever with one of them while the other sits here with me. Being stuck inside most of the time I found a knack for creating native arrowheads from some rocks I found. So there’s that.
I just want to let every person, missionary or not, know that it is totally A-Okay if things get stressful and you freak out. I did…and I feel like I'm still a semi-normal person. The thought that kept me going was that God gives us mountains and it's up to us to accept the challenge and climb the dang thing or to just sit a the bottom and complain. Either way the mountain is still there, so get over it. You don't have to smile the entire way, but you just have to keep going…and luckily He is with us the entire time. Boy am I grateful for His help. I'm not one to sit around at the bottom of the mountain…so I had to buck up and climb it, and I can truly say that I feel a whole lot better now that I'm at the top and can see what He was trying to show me. And if you really think about it…Christ already climbed the mountain and made a little trail for us to follow…mind blown.
Anyway, just my thoughts. Take it or leave it.
I know that serving a mission was the right decision, even if it doesn't feel like it all the time. I'm grateful that I'm not out here in the Great White North all by myself and that my Father in Heaven is here too. Alma 26:27.
Keep it real holmies.
xoxo, Sister Holm